The phrase “left out in the cold” is often used by us to describe moments when someone feels excluded, overlooked, or forgotten. It’s not usually about weather or temperature, but more importantly about belonging.

The short story below explores that idea through a simple interaction between two characters, Alex and Tom. Tom understands the phrase instinctively. Alex, however, happens to take language more literally and needs more time, explanation, and reassurance.

It is set against a wintery scene. The story is less about the cold weather and more about warmth. Here, the warmth comes from being noticed, invited in, and made to feel welcome.

It was a cold morning, and Tom and Alex were going to a small holiday gathering. They looked outside and saw everywhere covered in white, having had snow the night before. As the walked along with the path snow crunched under their feet, and Alex shivered slightly.

Alex: I can't help but think about times when people said, “Don’t leave someone out in the cold.” What does that phrase actually mean?

Tom: Well, literally, it can mean not leaving someone outside where it’s cold, like here for instance right now. You’d be uncomfortable, maybe even frozen.

Alex: Ah, yes, I feel cold, in fact, freezing. It feels rather uncomfortable for me right now. So that helps it makes sense to me. But I think they mean something different when they say it at events like parties.

Tom: Exactly. Figuratively, it means not excluding someone from parties, conversations, or social gatherings. But what we can do is make sure one feels included and welcome. It’s about making sure no one feels left out.

Alex: So, it’s like inviting someone in from the cold into the warmth, but with people instead of a warm room?

Tom: Yes! That’s a great way to think about it. Picture a room full of people chatting. If, on the other hand, you see someone standing or sitting all by themselves, you could say that they’re “in the cold” socially. However, if you notice and invite them into the conversation, you’re helping them feel included.

Alex: Oh right, I think I'm beginning to understand it much better now. It’s not only about weather. It’s about noticing others, and helping them feel like they belong to a particular group for example.

Tom: That's correct. And even small gestures, such as asking them even a simple question, sharing a story, or even smiling. Any of these can make a difference.

Alex: I’ve felt that before. There've been times when I couldn't work how to join in, like in other peoples' conversations. But even if someone simply stops and says hello to you, that can help more than you think. And then you like suddenly feel warm.

Tom: Exactly. And that warmth, even in a little moment, can really change how someone experiences a gathering, or their day for that matter.

Alex smiled, pulling his scarf a little tighter. For the first time, the phrase “don’t leave someone out in the cold” was more than just words. It felt like a way to notice others, and a way to feel more noticed themselves.

Question for you

Have you ever felt “left out in the cold” or helped someone feel included? How did it feel?

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